I always liked making people laugh until my undergraduates told me that it was an abuse of power asym…

Takeoff always happens just as we are running out of runway

It turns out that the afterlife is only as long as you can keep the exit interview go…

It used to be that We could feed our souls By serving others Or feed our egos By serving ourselves

The left was once really good at keeping capitalism in check but then they lost their identity and have been looking for one ever… oblivious that it’s long since

All ideas that stood the test of t… Are outdated ideas because They failed to meet our search cri… There’s no time like the present

The culture war is a cyber war where you can’t tell that you’re behind enemy lines until you’re compelled to read your lines

Wonder Woman’s invisible jet was like a stratospheric glass cei… preventing her from flying like Superman

For those who are real– ly asking, the truth is al– ways multi-tasking

When our mirror stage was over we didn’t just lose the mirror we also lost the stage In replacement we got a screen (for screening out…

When randomness blends with lawfulness you get the Loch Ness

The original version’s working title was The Giveth and Taketh Away Tree but Silverstein couldn’t get it published

Growing up was hard enough when we just had cliques not today’s clicks upon cliques

All forms of certainty are mutations of knowing that you must die which is why the true believer is always the most likely