I was never one for playing the field but I was really good at standing on the sideline worrying over my equipment

My children have no idea they are living through a golden age of comedy

I may look like a tall glass of water but be– ware, I’m half empty

Counterintuitively AI’s two primary tasks– No one will ever get bored And Nothing will ever happen–

My shampoo is nine– ty nine percent natural, as if that were enough

God’s command to cells was slightly different: be fruitful and divide

With all other things human beings must guard against what is too good to be true in order to stay alive With God

When I picked candy apples as my… (think spirit animals for foodies) I honestly had no idea I was naturally sweet but laid it on way too thick

Once I realized that I wasn’t afraid of sky diving just that my parachute wouldn’t op… I was able to conquer my fear without ever leaving the ground

The world to come is like a signature look that’s always a new look

Catwoman shamed Batman into getting out of the Batmobile… by telling him it was just like ec…

Mid-life crisis: the failure to start hoping you don’t get what you want

Every writer has mistaken his shotgun for a rifle– He may hit where he aims but he will also surely miss In discharging his will to power

We talk about current times But time is a current That gives us our power We hate death Seeing it as the loss of all power