I was never comfortable in my own skin but I always felt okay in alligator boots

I thought they’d finally say Mea culpa But they still just said Me

Descartes wanted certainty He got it Now we’re stuck with it Uncertain how we get unstuck Does this mean we’re doomed or sav…

My dreams are no longer about wish fulfillment but about the Amazon fulfillment center

The stapler inevitably jams And it’s always the stapler That jams the copier Except for the times it jams When you try to copy something you…

Tom Brady keeps a portrait of him… that is becoming progressively more likable

Future generations will laugh at o… their augmented cognition instantl… how the magician’s lovely assistan… but there is one trick they will n… half in fear that it would crash t…

I’m getting much better at recognizing my wife’s subtle hi… like when she recently put mosquit… over her side of the bed

One would think the earth is flat “Unless” as the Coen brothers put it “round is funny”

Human beings need to compete for what they want To ruin human beings try meeting their needs

While I was waiting for them to come to their senses they came to my house

I always thought it didn’t matter if human beings really had free will as long as they experienced the wo… as if they did;

TaB Clear whose only selling point was its clearness was offered exclusively in aluminum cans

The best way to prevent something from happenin… is to convince people that it already did

When randomness blends with lawfulness you get the Loch Ness