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Chris Gaither

Live at the Improv, Death at the Ready

Caught between a rock and a hard place
we will sink or swim:
Sink like a rock
or swim in a hard place–
the opposite of walking on water–
which will take a miracle indeed
as the one stroke that always works–
freestyle–
is impossible for us

Other works by Chris Gaither...
A Dollar Doesn’t Go as Far as It Used To, so, I Don’t Go as Far as I Used To

Actually, we all died in the pande… Life– I can’t afford not to Pandemic life– I can’t afford to… The afterlife– I can’t afford not…
The Day I Became the World’s Greatest Motivational Speaker

Why is there something rather than nothing? Because nothing is impossible
The Rise of the Real Isn’t a True Story but Is Real Nonetheless

Where once the Imaginary, the Sym… formed three sides of the same coi… now there is but one side to every… as the Imaginary is displaced by t… the Symbolic is scrambled in servi…
Infinite Jest

It’s become harder than ever to be the court jester– you have to use humor to speak
Killing Two Birds with One Phone

I am simultaneously purging while binge watching TV on my Gal… by ignoring my wife and kids
This Isn’t Fantasia; It’s Aphasia

At the end of The Sorcerer’s App… as chaos reaches a crescendo the sorcerer appears just in time and sets things back in order Apprenticed to no one,
“If you think you understand quantum mechanics, you don’t understand quantum mechanics”

If we’re being scientific, then The more certain you are that quan… The less certain you become as to… i.e., It works like a charm And if we’re being honest, when
It’s Inevitable

The first and most important task when you’re joining a non-hierarch… is finding out who’s really in charge The first and most important task
There Are No Winners Here

In the new cold war between the neoliberal west and the Chinese Communist Party the neoliberals are destined to wi… having already hacked the path of…
Just Because Beggars Can’t Be Choosers Now Doesn’t Mean It Was Always Thus

We’ve gone from individuals distinguishing themselves from the… begging to differ– “Whatever it is, I’m against it”- to groups
Smile Less, Talk More

It turns out that the afterlife is only as long as you can keep the exit interview go…
We All Know Where the British Empire’s Bodies Are Buried but We’ve Always Already Tumbled to Decorum

Most people can get away with sweeping a few things under the ru… but when I started working at the… I couldn’t help noticing how the rugs looked like
Be Careful What You Mask For, You Just Might Beget It

We live in an age when the greatest danger is an excess of caution
“Such a war as is of every man against every man... In such condition there is... no account of Time”

Friendly competition is heaven on… Culture war is hell on wheels Of time But now that our culture’s wheels… We’ll soon be out of time
Words Spread

Every writer has mistaken his shotgun for a rifle– He may hit where he aims but he will also surely miss In discharging his will to power



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