In the first half of life I tried it your way and succeeded which is how I got over you In the second half of life I did it my way and failed
My wife is a lot like God If God weren’t perfect Like Him, she’s my toughest criti… But also my fiercest champion
Language is great for Letting us tell each other Where it hurts And you keep telling me It hurts when I don’t listen
In the latest version of Captain… Captain America’s archenemy is Captain Obvious for all the obvious reasons
It’s almost impossible to tell the difference between self-effacement and self-abasement In the former he stays down to earth
If we’re being scientific, then The more certain you are that quan… The less certain you become as to… i.e., It works like a charm And if we’re being honest, when
The smartest gal in the room Is the one who realizes All the adults in the room Are emotional children Behaving like holy terrors
Insanity is thinking you can ever get what you want and devoting your life to getting it
Inasmuch as handling gold is always a thorny affair all gold is rose gold but black gold
It wasn’t false modesty exactly You might call it un-unpretentious if you were being pretentious
The truth is always at a disadvant… because while you can harness truth in service of a lie you can’t tell lies
My dreams are no longer about wish fulfillment but about the Amazon fulfillment center
If husbands were like pro basketball players I’d be an all star but one with an exceptionally low trade value
There’s more than one way to move… So, I’m always beavering away At my dam that bends the river Far, far away from the foot of the…
Eat, drink And be merry But don’t drink And derive
