For every deep dive into the data there’s a data analyst with the be…
When God closes one store He opens another
Finding themselves at court in a r… for a body politic gone mad withou… aides could only hope to exploit h… bias in lieu of appeals to his dec…
Because bodies make a fart joke of… etiquette used to dictate that whe… passed gas at, e.g., a dinner part… the polite thing to do was to pret… the fart never happened
You’re not allowed to copy from your neighbor because you’re supposed to copy from your teacher
It took the spies of Five Eyes to tell that Putin wasn’t bluffin’ But just ask the staff at Five Gu… and they’ll tell you Trump’s MacG… He longs for Daddy’s approval
The dream has always been To build a time machine And go back in time To change the present But some things never change–
It’s capitalism after it shed its skin
I have just complet– ed my memoirs: One Hundred Years of Solid Food
AI didn’t write this poem; it wrote the algorithm that decided whether or not you would read it
You can never be happy with what you have; on– ly with what you lack
Losing what you never had is only possible when you look for it exactly where it never was
If you pursue any vice long enough you’ll either become bored or addi… scratch that– you’ll either become bored and qui… or bored and addicted
Unconditional love is unbearable so there’s always at least one unspoken rule given to its recipie… Just don’t waste it on them
The world has gone to heck And heck is hell Minus the pleasure