The kingdom of heaven is like two otherwise mediocre individuals making a great couple

If you’re going to take sick leave… take FMLA

You bet your bottom dollar I’ll bet the bottom of my heart

The smartest gal in the room Is the one who realizes All the adults in the room Are emotional children Behaving like holy terrors

The stapler inevitably jams And it’s always the stapler That jams the copier Except for the times it jams When you try to copy something you…

The usual cruelty Is having multiple children And enforcing a hierarchy In order to keep the peace Unusual cruelty

At bottom freedom consists of the possibility that you are wrong

For about one hundred years it was no longer a secret that the easiest way to be a rational a… in an irrational world is to rationalize all

America’s belief system– The show must go on– comes into focus when you suspend disbelief Because it’s not about justice

The narcissist has just the one advantage but it’s all that he needs: Instead of looking his true self i… he gets to look his false self in…

I grew up in the Neighborhood of… where if someone already had their… it was usually based on something… Now I live in the Land of Make T… where if someone’s mind is already…

If I were going to rephrase the O… I’d say I believe in God because There’s no better explanation And if I were going to re-explain…

Insanity is also seeing people do the same thing over and over again and expecting them to let you cons…

Denial leaves a vacuum that is ever filled by wishful thinking

The first time I went to a robot… I said it hurts when I do this just as I bared my soul and the robot doctor said Don’t do that