As Amazon Prime Minister I’m ringleader of the carefree world
A materialist looks around at ever… It’s all an accident His friend, the believer, adds his… It was an accident waiting to happ… The materialist and the believer a…
Physicists insist that time can flow both forward and backward So, I always insist on sitting in the backward facing seats of th… because I need to be able to see
If you don’t believe I’m the Led Zeppelin of poetry just wait ‘til you see my poems go over like a lead balloon
The fox is in both henhouses– Yours and your neighbor’s– Because the roosters standing guar… Have turned on one another Plucking each other’s eyes out
You keep the peace they get everything else
Life is a give and take And since he’ll never give any cri… Because he can’t take any criticis… A people pleaser is the walking de…
The truth is always at a disadvant… because while you can harness truth in service of a lie you can’t tell lies
Only a fool believes that the river obeys the riverbed
All cars have always been getaway cars because they tell the world how much you’re getting away with but now all cars are SUVs
The opposite of bad breath Isn’t good breath It’s fresh breath Because all breath is good So, you never have to hold your br…
Time is relentless. Are you?
Saying Get out of your comfort zone to an American is like telling a turtle to get out of its shell
No one was more surprised than the… when we cracked open his shell and… the inside covered in mirrors
God doesn’t make mistakes; God makes people People make mistakes And learn from them that God doesn’t make mistakes
