Unlike Saul, when the scales fell from my eyes I learned I was a serpent, sheddi…
When I was a kid people grew on me like grass Now they’re more like sod
Maya Angelou says we have one hand to help others and one hand to help ourselves
We used to have the haves and the have nots But then the haves were further subdivided into the haves and the have to
Those who were once just foaming at the mouth have been rebooted by social media… fomenting at the mouth
The only reason to pursue fame is to forestall the possibility that you’re the kind of person who would die wishing you’d been more famous
Where the Cold War was Spy vs. Spy The Psyberwar is Psy vs. Psy
My mid-life crisis is the fear that my tombstone epit… Like chicken, he went with everyth…
I know I’m losing an argument with my friends when my thoughts turn to lunch I know I’m winning when I’m about to lose my lunch
I brought a wife To a gun fight Don’t worry You haven’t met my wife
My favorite tennis player of all time is the Frenchman Guy Forget because man always forgets
The internet wants to tell you a l… Instead, let me tell you a secret: After the Holocaust Antisemitism was buried just deep… That it came to seem an anachronis…
Yes, we have no bananas but we still need you to play second banana
Heads I bite my tongue Tails You cut it off
The moment I think It’s beneath me the solid ground collapses into a sinkhole where I remain
