If we had our druthers We would be insufferable Instead, we suffer As if desire were a curse And not our saving grace

Monotheism is true; Liberalism works Put them together and The true works

Solitary confinement is cruel and unusual punishment which is why they lock the cell but if they put you in solitary confinement

Women give hints So that men will think It was their idea I’ve never been good at taking a h… But I’m good at following orders

In an online community You don’t have to commute But your sins will never be commut…

In the new version of socialism You can own as much property as yo… You just can’t own your mistakes

Those who show no compunction are the most gifted at seduction and short of a permanent injunctio… we all face induction by way of their unction

I’m converting to Judaism but I’m a Scorpio so, I have a head start

We hit it off: she’d declawed her cats and I’d plucked my cacti’s needles

I’ve now reached the age when anticipation con– sists of nostalgia

With organized religion there is a method to the madness In a rational society there is a madness to the method

Liberalism deepened by religion Religion widened by liberalism Until the body and soul politic Is so deep That it swallows our fears

Power is the ability To maintain your non-negotiables And the world to come Will arrive when we stop trying To negotiate a new deal with God

Faced with a forced choice The agnostic feigns ignorance For if you ask a woman to marry yo… And she says I don’t know

Rule #1- Where God says no, the devil says… And where the devil says no, God… Rule #2- If everybody knows the answers ahe…