My shampoo is nine– ty nine percent natural, as if that were enough
Any self-respecting materialist Knows they have no soul And any self-respecting AI Knows it has no soul But in this belief
Gracious me! Now that college Has become a finishing school There are no starter homes
If things feel prearranged it’s because you’ve already rearranged
When they told me I was one of many I took them to mean I was the one
It’s taken me this long to underst… like Pee Wee Herman I meant to do that though I’m still unsure why Because as hard as it’s been
Rock and roll may be dead but it’s got one of the great corp… like a dead horseshoe crab
Many con artists have a moral awakening; even more realize that the only compassionate thing to do is continue the con
Once masks became quote-unquote op… the unmasked were finally unmasked and the masked remained unamalgamated
The narcissist has just the one advantage but it’s all that he needs: Instead of looking his true self i… he gets to look his false self in…
Nobody grows up wanting to be a mot– ivational speaker
Upon dying peacefully in my sleep surrounded by family after a long, prosperous life the Grim Reaper looked at me and… I’m glad to see you’ve arrived saf…
The pleasure in a magic show is wondering how the magician did it
People think artists are painting, dancing, writing, or… when really they’re all whistling past the graveyard
My analyst says I want to have my cake and put it in a time capsule too
