In theory rule by consensus sounds more democratic but in practice it leads to hung juries

We’ve taken the mystery out of lif… Which makes this a murder mystery Because in choosing immortality We are killing ourselves More accurately, then

Instead of shooting bullets into t… to celebrate I raise my leaf blower towards the… On blue moons I do this from my jet ski

Riddle me this: The Riddler commits crimes of the… By loving each and every one of us… But always leaves clues behind In the form of a riddle

It used to be that We could feed our souls By serving others Or feed our egos By serving ourselves

I often find myself telling God That according to the terms of the… You get what you need God insists I come to terms with the implicati…

Given the current nostalgia for shared reality we shouldn’t forget that peak shared reality was mutually assured destruction

The biggest change in my lifetime Has been the change in the meaning… They don’t have a prayer It used to mean They don’t have a chance

The usual cruelty Is having multiple children And enforcing a hierarchy In order to keep the peace Unusual cruelty

The crucial moment in my elevator pitch comes when I hit the emergency stop button

When anything you think Can and will be used against you The purpose of state-funded educat… Will be learning not to think As the doyens of higher learning

When people give you the silent treatment have them put it in writing

The only way to know you’re not paranoid is to stay connected at all times so you can rest assured

We treat life as if Postponing the inevitable When we should be busy Preparing for the inestimable

Just because life is good doesn’t mean it isn’t also too much of a good thing