People think that the spork didn’t include any aspects of the… because the serrated edge of the prospective all-in-one utensil kept slicing open the focus group…

It takes talent to write a hit pie… but anyone can write a puff piece that in thirty years will read as a hit piece

I have just complet– ed my memoirs: One Hundred Years of Solid Food

In the confession booth I have a confession to make so that I can receive forgiveness In the show trial I have a confession to make up

Question: What do you want the mo… Answer: The most. This is how you know The devil is always cheating you Because desire is neither

In a failed democracy the one thing both sides can agree on is that the real traitors are the loyal opposition

Life can seem meaningless But I’ve found that Meaning is never lifeless

The kingdom of heaven is like a tr… where gentlemen may remove their h… while all others must

If we insist It’s not a competition It becomes A war If we admit

Nation-states are for the embodied Bodies are for souls Souls need everything in moderatio… Cyberspace is for cyborgs Cyborgs are for real

Our civilization is like an egg– It can withstand enormous pressure at the top (for the obvious reasons) and bottom

In Mexico City men never wear shorts and if that’s where my anxiety dreams are set they could represent

If you want to win friends and inf… Find out what they care about (This is easy) Ask them about it (This is significantly harder)

I’m always leaving things at church so the lost and found won’t be empty

The metaverse only took off once people realized that the only way to accrue status ther… was through displays of a toleranc…