We can be given responsibility by God but we can only take control

There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and antisemitism

When people give you the silent treatment have them put it in writing

You’ll know it’s the Fountain of… when you dive in to get it over wi… endure the shock, but then you never get used to it

The lamppost is an outpost Where it’s safe to admit That between you, me, and the lamp… Self-knowledge is over-rated Self-deception is automated

You can’t cut the cord When you are the cord Connecting what you’ve been told y… With How you will inflict that burden o…

Life is defined by failure But you can transcend failure If you die trying

To whom it may concern: Time travel is impossible

We all know death is coming and yet it remains a surprise ending

Whereas Mayor McCheese loved reading about himself in the newsp… ex-Mayor McCheese was served with divorce papers

If it ain’t broke Don’t fix it So, in case of emergency Break heart To break free

I knew Remain was in trouble when they announced that a vote fo… was also a vote in favor of renami… Brexit McBrexitface

Learning how to walk is learning how to fall forward while remembering to catch yoursel… again and again Walking is the illusion

To break up with your significant other just say I need space To break it off

In this age of relentless people p… the merest exercise of reason is always a form of treason