God knows that the only thing you can give the man who has everything is another chance
If you don’t believe I’m the Led Zeppelin of poetry just wait ‘til you see my poems go over like a lead balloon
A human has being so, we call ourselves human beings God has meaning so, we call Him
Relationships are hard work unless you’ve preemptively announc… that you’re quitting but staying on as a volunteer
I couldn’t believe that my first e… was still carrying a torch for me and then I saw all my other ex’s b… carrying a pitch fork
We went from wearing galoshes over… to wearing galoshes over our shoes… to wearing galoshes as shoes and now we wear galoshes over galo…
I’ve been racking my brains for the perfect response to accusations of perfectionism only to land at a conundrum: a confession of false modesty is
Just because life is good doesn’t mean it isn’t also too much of a good thing
Liberalism can be confused with ni… where you have to believe in nothi… or with Unitarian Universalism where you’re encouraged to believe… as much of everything as you like
I don’t get mad I get odd
In the analog it was enough to consider the source Now, in the digital you must consider the source code:
If I’ve learned one thing from Pa… it’s that until I believe in God I will be enslaved to others That would have been enough! But I also learned that
All self-help books boil down to this: You can’t fold a piece of paper more than 7 times but if you could fold it 103 times
Everybody knows The pen is mightier than the sword But few understand That it’s because The pen is a lightsaber
Higher education purports to prepare you for life when really it exists to indebt you for life, expanding campus ideology