He was the kind of husband who when his wife asked him to stop sa… complied but started looking for excuses to… panda bear

When I was a child The most authoritarian teacher Exerted her control through Silent lunch Yesterday, in the cafeteria

In the past they randomly distributed blanks amongst the firing squad so that you’d never know if you were really executing enemy…

Thanks to his bifocals Ben Franklin could see that while we might look like bald… up close we’re clearly turkeys

I can’t just let go of my past I have to lose a tug of war and get third degree rope burns

The first half of life: If it ain’t broke Don’t fix it The second half of life: If you can’t fix it

I’ve been gaining valuable experie… In on-the-job training It’s a big job But somebody’s got to do it– I’m learning how to predict the fu…

Puzzles can be solved Problems can only be exchanged

When my dog gives me that knowing… I don’t know what she knows I only know that she knows Who I’m fooling And it isn’t her

Everybody knows That everybody hates group project… But everybody is a group project Which is why everybody hates thems… Unless the group wisdom

Our civilization is like an egg– It can withstand enormous pressure at the top (for the obvious reasons) and bottom

My mistake was believing that Smart was short for book smart When actually Book smart is short for book smart… I only figured this out

I am going to delay early retirement until everyone is middle class

Human beings need to compete for what they want To ruin human beings try meeting their needs

I always wondered if mimes were a type of clown until having my mind blown by the insight that