Instead of shooting bullets into t… to celebrate I raise my leaf blower towards the… On blue moons I do this from my jet ski

You’ll be able to tell that nobody knows what anything is wort… when no one knows who they can tru…

The worst part about giving every kid in little league a trophy is the way it has emptied all the… out of acquiring

I don’t care about birds but I thrill when the squirrels can’t get to the birdseed

Skulls of Roman glad– iators indicate high rates of C.T.E.

Hell is having infinite wishes but using them all to wish for infinite wishes Heaven is having infinite wishes but only needing

No one wanted to wear augmented reality goggles until our design team hit upon the idea of making them look

You’re supposed to love everybody but everybody knows that’s putting all of your eggs in one ba… so everybody eggs each other on in making a western omelet

Anselm’s ontological proof fails at proving the existence of God; there is no way around a leap of f… Instead, it proves that human bein… are incapable of accessing God’s m…

As the boat overfilled with refuge… was turned away from the harbor each of the onshore demographic gr… had their own routinized, ruthless… but surrounded by my own

In the state of nature You live by the sword And die by the sword In civilization The pen is mightier

When at last Our time comes Just as we realize the need To give things time It will have come to pass

I thought they’d finally say Mea culpa But they still just said Me

Nature codes us for the road Man decodes and lo, a crossroads Where God goads

I’ll give you the forest And I’ll take the trees You save the whales And I’ll keep the bees The sand in your eyes