I never knew who they thought I really was until I finally staked my claim
My wife is philosophically opposed to my habit of justifying things, say a bag of the really good kind… with the phrase: I deserve it
I always thought everybody was saying It’s better to be safe, then sorry
In theory rule by consensus sounds more democratic but in practice it leads to hung juries
When an American marries into a brood of Scots it’s a matter of when and not if we overdo it with the family tarta…
A human has being so, we call ourselves human beings God has meaning so, we call Him
For those who are real– ly asking, the truth is al– ways multi-tasking
I disapprove of what you say but I will defend to the death your right not to mean it
Like anything else immortality has its pros and cons: Our chickens never come home to ro… but our cows never come home eithe…
The American social contract takes the form of an unholy allian… If you don’t question my authority… I won’t hold you accountable So, when our barons traded the US…
God will accept everything about you but the one thing He won’t take is the blame
When you move fast and break thing… broken things can’t move dividing us into those who can’t move and those who are unmoved
Hook-up apps have given intimacy all the allure of an oil change
Asked to account for his success w… he explained that he drives his ca… like he won it on The Price Is R…
I couldn’t believe that my first e… was still carrying a torch for me and then I saw all my other ex’s b… carrying a pitch fork
