It wasn’t false modesty exactly You might call it un-unpretentious if you were being pretentious
Staring at your phone came to be known as the thousand yard stare
The people will never accept the f… that the one thing missing from an effective conspiracy is conspir… so they keep looking for the inexi… always expecting to find them
From where I was situated There was no room to maneuver In the situation room And everybody else found themselve… In the same situation
In the latest version of Captain… Captain America’s archenemy is Captain Obvious for all the obvious reasons
Life is short because God knows to leave us wanting more
We thought it would last forever but in retrospect we were having a high time at low tide when the clam digging was easy and the eating was good
There was once a time when No Jews allowed Meant No Jews allowed But now they say
We are hard wired for cooperation to better compete Marxism fails because it enacts a competition
When I was young we always said If you’re gonna be a bear be a grizzly bear! But now everyone’s become
People still make all the mistakes but now A.I. does all the learning
When I got to the cave at the top of the mountain and asked the hermit What is the meaning of life? she said
We subtract to find the difference But at bottom There is no difference Leaving it up to us To make a difference
When I picked candy apples as my… (think spirit animals for foodies) I honestly had no idea I was naturally sweet but laid it on way too thick
No one loves a woman like her man and no one loves capitalism like its Marxists In each case