Survivor (after putting up the strong sided poem about abuse i thought a weaker sided one would be suitable)

As I lie in my bed at night,
I can not sleep as I would in fright,
As the moon shines so bright,
I no there are creatures leering here tonight.
 
As I steer in to the dark,
I see the moons silver sparks,
I see the light,
Oh so bright,
Sparkling here tonight.
 
But as I drift away,
I hear them closer coming for me,
And as I try to hide away,
I no they’ll take my soul,
Yet here I stay.
 
As I close my eyes tonight,
As I hear there voices I hide in fright,
I’m there simple toy tonight.
Close my eyes and turn away,
As they come out to play.
 
Drift away like in my lullaby!
A simple tear is all I cry!
As the blood flows red!
Inside I’m dead!
 
Dream away…
Those times I played…
Dream away…
Those childhood games…
Cry away…
My life… it’s ok.
 
As I dream of horror stories, in blood flowing red,
Of these dreams in my head,
I close my eyes,
As I hear,
I’m the princess in this place,
I’m the princess in death,
I’m the one…
The one finally put to rest…
By those monster’s once so obsessed…
So close my eyes and let me cry…
Cause after you’re done,
All I can do is die!

(2008)

I all ready mention in my poem Aren't these your balls? how i was sexually assaulted by an ex. While that poem was how he may have used me i didnt mind being used as i would come out stronger and how i would get over it but he'd always be in debted to me. This poem is the other side of that story. Its how i was after it happened how i was torn between thinking i was strong and weak, (i couldn't sleep most nights i'd just sit crying) and how i really just wanted to disappear off the earth. It also shows how from there on i wasnt some child i was an adult (oddly at this time many of my friends didnt work i did and they called me mamma as i would normally lend out money or buy things for my friends who couldnt afford them)

rape, pain, hurt, abuse, assault, fear, past.

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Alexis Faye
almost 6 years

I will do i have over 50 on my pc from since i was 18 but i'v also at least another 25 on paper =P I'm well past it now, i have been through abusive situations and the mental effects can leave you feeling just as "raped". Sadly shit happens, only the strong will survive so thats what i did. Unrelated: Oh i agree seeing where your family comes from can be awesome my grandads great gran was native indian american so i'd love to find out more about her and visit america and such. Thankfully i know a good bit about my nannys side of the family as her cousins is an irish author Martha Long, and she tells a good bit about that side (although my family disagree with some of the things in her books)

Adam McCloud
almost 6 years

You're very welcome, keep them coming, I enjoy the ones I've read so far! I can't imagine a physical rape however I imagine the psychological damages are similar, be strong.Unrelated: we are experiencing some of the same unemployment here in the states..sucks...but I have always wanted to visit Ireland and see where my roots came from, also Scotland since I have roots there as well.

Alexis Faye
almost 6 years

Thank you so much for enjoying, and emotion rape is just as bad. Its horrific. Unrelated: Its not all people make it out to be, its beautiful yes but we're at a bad place lots of Qualified people unemployed lately.

Adam McCloud
almost 6 years

I can feel the emotion...I understand it, maybe not from the stand point you're coming from, but from a bad relationship where i felt so used and emotionally raped...Thank you for sharing!unrelated: I'm jealous that you live in Ireland!

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