Paws on my heart

Little one, don’t cry.
Mammy wasnt there that night.
 
Little one don’t you fight...
Daddys so sad and its alright.
 
And when you went home with him,
I said goodnight to my sweetest little thing
 
3 and a half weeks old,
when we got you you where beautiful and gold.
 
We nursed you day and night.
Now me and him just fight.
 
Little princess, how i have mourned.
When daddy showed up i was surprised.
 
Until i seen he had tears in his eyes.
And then i looked for you.
 
But you where gone long before i knew it too.....
 
And you weren’t just some pet, to me you where the baby i couldn’t have.
And i remember how you’d cry to be in bed with me by my side.
 
And i talked to daddy on the phone he told me you where snoring, nothing was wrong.
But when Your sister tried to wake him.
 
Daddy had taking his tablets and now they forsake him.
And he blamed himself and stopped the meds.
 
But all along it plays in other people heads.
The night you went away, i lost more then a part of me.
 
You where just 11 weeks old.
Only little walks did we stroll.
 
And i miss your cute little eyes with the golden flecks in side.
We laid your little body to rest.
 
It killed me cause you where the best and your sister one with me and one with daddy,
It doesn’t hold... you where the glue even when you where bold.
 
And now I sit and weep, daddy lies awake he can’t sleep.
Any noise we hear we jump.
 
That night you feel asleep forever.
Just wish we were all together.
 
Asleep you maybe,
In you sweet boned purple blanky.
 
But always i will hold you here.
In my heart my special sharp tooth dear.

(2013)

I wrote this a while after a puppy me and my partner got (at 3 weeks old) died tragically at 11 weeks due to SPDS Sudden puppy death syndrome. All my friends have kids but i had Xena(our rescue), my family dog, my bfs dog and two rats. All our children. Having a condition that means when i do want kids i'll have to work t it medically as well as physically to even try conceive, is hard as my partner is older and wants kids, but as im young i'm still thinking. However doctors tell me ever year is time running out.

puppy, pets, loss, grief, heartbreak, sadness

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