I guess it started a long time ago,
Me giving away my happiness for a brief moment of acceptance
I guess I never had an independence
and try as I may, I still don’t have it now
I still seek the approval of the ones closest to me
Even when I’m unaware that I don’t approve myself
Who am I kidding?
I always knew
I’m not much of an advocate of individuality am I?
I bash the name of the unspoken misunderstoods everyday that I wake up and breathe
I claim to stand for them
Or at least be a part of their invisible clan
But what do I have to show for it?
A notebook filled with thoughts?
Most of it is trash anyway
No one would care to know anyway
I just wanna get away to a land where all the shameless individuals dwell
With their high thoughts and creative hands that do whatever they please
Where smiling for the occasion of uniqueness isn’t shunned by a stiff copied and pasted wrist
How could I know of such a land if I’ve never been?
I see it’s residents on a daily basis
Smiling because life is so very much worth while
Singing happy songs of their creation through the beat of their walk
Pumping rhythm through their eyes as if to get my attention
I guess they know I should be with them
They just don’t know I can’t find the open door to get there
“It’s open,” the shameless tell “Just come in”
But where is it?
My vision is foggy from the smoke of the norm
Yes, I see the dim light in the distance
But the fog chokes me to death every time
Forcing me, not to live, but to survive
And so each day, I cast away the same hope and dream
Only to pick it up right where I left it
No growth, no improvement
Unlocking the door to a desperation with no mobility
Guess I deserve it
I think of the shameless as those who endured until the end,
Allowing the smoke to just barely end them before crossing over into the promised land
Or did they just find a way to clear the fog?
Did they become immune to the smoke?
Or did they just defy death
Or fought for their right,
Or is it all of the above?
Then there’s a revelation, being an individual is not a risk, nor a privilege
It is a born right
I do not just get to be beautiful
I am not only given the right to be unique
Misunderstood did not just grow on me
This is who I am
No refunds, No make-overs
Yes, being an individual can have the world fighting against you
But I find that to be a beautiful thing
One of God’s most beautiful treasures to have ever been handed down
Seeing the dim light in the fog
Being able to see past the norm is the first step towards greatness
It may take a while but,
“Greater is the ending of a thing than the beginning”
last line is from the bible
hope, growth, real, love, realist, indiviuality, you, me, given, unique, beautiful, refund, fight, stand, for, what, you, believe, in