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I’m mad

I’m mad at you. And do you know what else?
I’m even more mad at myself.
 
For being the woman you want, instead of the woman I am,
For seeing the man I want, instead of the man you are.
I let you hold me when I was weak,
When the meaning of my life became so oblique.
The one person I thought I needed was you -
But it was me all along.
I sat beside you in your car,
Surrounded by your possessions,
Little did I understand that I was just another one.
You drove, I was in a daze, the maze
inside my head suddenly offered me an exit.
So I jumped out, without fear of repercussions,
I ended up in a hospital in North London.
Whatever I felt, the end has come,
And you never did.
Time.
Up.
 
I’m mad at you. And do you know what else?
I’m even more mad at myself.

L.A.S.

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