12:23 am
i feel... “okay” really that mean i’ve been dissoci… it means distracted it means ignoring what upsets me it means crying less,
if i died in my room, whether it were an accident or int… how long would it take for you to… everything is about you, you, you so where does that leave me?
it is so incredibly draining to feel so passionless. i just want to feel useful interesting
i’m always repressing my urges to scream to bash my head into the wall to cry in the shower set to its ho… i hope one day they realize
people have hurt me. taken advantage and made me feel unsafe. you have never harmed me, so why does it bother me so much
i want it to work so badly but i don’t think it ever will unfortunately i am putting too much effort in once again
i have weeds growing from my skin i am one with earth and still feeling unnatural i sit, water pours i am blooming
i’m the only one awake between dusk and dawn. i see the faint moonlight caressin… the low sunlight in such a way, that they seem to speak through on…
tear me limb from limb turn me to dust my life impacts no one why do i exist? i am disappointing
i don’t want to ruin your night i don’t want to always seem broken always bringing you sadness that y… soon you will be tired of it i am not as fun or interesting as…
i cannot rest my heavy eyes due to… and no matter how hard i try and t… you’re always there laughing as if you belong if only you’d visit me in the fles…
my mind is loud tonight, i am struggling to sift through it… overwhelmed by every detail. feel like i don’t exist feel like i am replaceable
there is a creature that is living inside of me– a parasite that feeds on hatred and pain. i promise it isn’t my fault.
jotting down my thoughts trying to make sense of it all shaking hands stiff fingers i cannot even self soothe anymore
same old patterns, willing to give my love away. but what’s the shame in that? yes it hurts - never quite reciprocated -