the person I left

Spring for many people, brings a sense of relief
No longer must we harsh the cold winter air.
We feel the sun on our face, and it feels like hope.
Like a new day, a new cycle a second chance.
To me spring feels like grief.
I think of when we met,
near the end of winter.
The spring wasn’t hope for me,
you were.
I think of venturing off to see you,
with all my stuff packed– ready to go.
The nights we spent talking.
It’s funny I got sick again,
like a couple years back before we met.
The feeling brought me nostalgia.
Without knowing,
I pulled the same sweater
out my closet..
the one I wore
when I was sick last.
I know you don’t think about me,
much any more.
All my friend’s driving to
a warm bed to sleep in.
Company of the night.
I go back home to my cat,
and a warm cup of tea.
Every new person I meet,
makes me miss you more.
I argue with you in my head,
to remind myself why -
I had left.
I tell myself.
The person I remember,
is not the person you are.
The person you are -
is the person I had left behind.

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