“Hmm,” thought I.
“I pressed the button
on the phone called the
It says that it might cause a fire.
Yikes! My house might burn down.
The way to deactivate it is to
press the (hoseblows) button, then
wait for it to start flashing.
Then if it doesn’t, press the
(powpow) button if you start
smelling smoke. If the smoke
intensifies, press the
(yukyuk) button. If you see a fire
coming out of the phone,
press the (flamebam) button that
automatically calls the
fire department; but don’t worry
because it might just be a warning.
If it is, press the (toratora) button
and hope it is a warning.
If not, you can activate the
(spashsplash) button to turn on the sprinklers to avoid calling
the fire department. If the sprinklers don’t work, press
the (barabara) button and if it
doesn’t flash, press the
(panic) button. If that doesn’t
work, get the hell outta there;
fast, pronto, speedily, swiftly,
like a gazelle or a bat outta hell
or a hippopotamus on drugs;
Goodbye and good luck.”