When was the last time? I told you that I love you You can’t remember, can you? But I do People often don’t say

With a friend like you I need no enemies You were arrogant and selfish And very hard to please You never gave an inch

Can I ask you a question mum? Yes certainly dear Go ahead Well, It’s about those children on the t…

What a life Swimming around and around In a bowl It’s enough to make you Want to sell your soul

You’re a friend A companion, a confident too You’re my mistress, my lover And I’ve grown to need you You are everything I had expected

The man said to his wife You loathe me why? She was startled, she denied it She cried Her love for her husband

When the kids are fighting an scre… And you’ve just about had enough Then you step on the cat’s tail And you head is feeling rough When the dog is bark, bark, barkin…

We’ve been friends for years And our eyes always meet I know you like me And I think you’re sweet It’s our little secret

Someone has given us strength Someone has given us character Someone has given us fearlessness Someone has given us faith Otherwise why don’t we scream?

Give me a bottle of booze And a pen And I’ll write about you Again I’ll say whatever you want me to s…

Here I am And here I lie Alone on my death bed But before I die I will try

I know you think I’m lucky And I’ve got the perfect girl But you should try her sometime You should give her a whirl She’s not content like most are

Alan was very good at it Everyone knew how good he was At ‘it’ Better than most actually Better than anyone around here

Atom bombs Nuclear waste Experiments on animals To our disgrace Drugs for this

Its times like this You realise How much you love your wife Your family, your friend Even your life