Who Are You?
I look in the mirror,
A glutton I see.
Who is that?
That can’t be me.
Who’s that girl?
Where did she come from?
She’s stolen my everything,
Who have I become?
Maybe if I starve,
Maybe if I purge,
Maybe if I lose myself,
From this nightmare I will diverge.
No one will know,
Because there’s no one to tell,
No one to save me,
From this living Hell.
I’m so famished,
I’m so frail,
I’m losing my life,
But to no avail.
No one will notice,
If I die tonight,
No one cares enough,
To put up a fight.
Everyone judges me,
But no one cares,
No one asks me,
About my life’s despairs.
There’s nothing to help the pain,
Except pain itself,
The only thing that can save me now,
Can’t stand the sight of myself.
Do I want to help myself,
If I couldn’t find what I sought?
Should I just end it now?
End the girl I forgot?
I’ve never heard a silence this loud,
Never been so lost,
I just want to find myself,
No matter what the cost.
I just want to be beautiful.
Is that too much to ask?
Why is God taking me now,
When I haven’t finished the task?
I’m beyond the point of healing,
There’s no turning back,
I’m lying on my deathbed,
All I see is black.
I look in the mirror,
A dead girl I see,
Who is that?
That can’t be me.
(2011)
Written for a project on eating disorders
