When we asked Jesus to explain the mechanics of the last being first He answered in yet another parable… It’s like when you’re playing tug…

Looking for signs of intelligent l… We imagine their supremely advance… Like somnolent caterpillars Dreaming up fabulous cocoons of th…

The epic poem for this epoch will have to say the most with the least

In the confession booth I have a confession to make so that I can receive forgiveness In the show trial I have a confession to make up

Old habits are hard to break but impossible to make New habits, like flossing, are easy to make

Narrow minds see The narrow odds of making their es… Cleaving to the straight and narro… They’ve cleaved the path in two And because they can still see no…

The B is silent in subtle but spo… B-cause a B-ing B-comes human by saying the quiet… The B-all and end-all Is the B-ginning and the end

When I got my first honey-do list after the wedding I explained to my bride that I us… until I was bitten by one of the 5… that don’t make webs

It’s always a bad idea To admit you have no idea Put another way: No idea is a bad idea You get the idea

Like Coke for Coca-Cola, Mr. Pibb is short for Mr. Pibb, ABD

Democracy was superseded not by a police state but by a witness protection progra…

Honesty is the best policy but it’s not an evidence-based practice

Imagine what the mannequins say to… as they go their separate ways fro… as each ships out from the factory A religious mannequin says: There, but for the grace of God,…

In the old country song When Mac Davis sings “Oh lord it’s hard to be humble When you’re perfect in every way” I always assumed

Instead of shooting bullets into t… to celebrate I raise my leaf blower towards the… On blue moons I do this from my jet ski