When I was a child Parents sent their kids Outside to play Now we treat children Like little adults

Life = Trial by fire Death = Trial by firing squad

Strange how we’re so worried about Artificial Intelligence taking ov… when we’ve long since succumbed to Artificial Emotional Intelligence in the belief that if we

Tom Brady keeps a portrait of him… that is becoming progressively more likable

But surely, you’ve noticed by now That all progress is incremental Across increments of time Because all progress is time-bound And the unfolding of time

Let’s call the before times “The… It’s not what you know It’s who you know But after the social media It’s not who you know

The jig is finally up When Mr. Cool Goes to shul

I wear black socks On the outside Because black is how I feel In the onside

I’ve gone from being an embarrassm… To having an embarrassment of rich… What is my wealth? Being who I am Because I Am Who I Am

I’ve reached the age where getting ready for bed is like preparing for a spacewalk

It’s not that you’re jeal– ous, but that you guard your jeal– ousy jealously

There is one reason And one reason alone That God won’t ever give up on yo… You are His job And God loves His job

I’m sad to say I’ve never been happier And I’m happy to say I’ve never been sadder All of which is to say

80% of success is physical And the other half Of success Is failure

Instead of the invisible hand bending self-interest towards the collective good we got the risible glad-hand laughing our selfishness off