Like generals husbands are always preparing to f… while their wives are always prepa… to fight the last just war

Hey mister, that Deep Blue is some deep shit I know, that’s why we’re

I’ve gone from being an embarrassm… To having an embarrassment of rich… What is my wealth? Being who I am Because I Am Who I Am

If you’re going to take sick leave… take FMLA

When I started telling my employe… Apologies in advance! they still felt compelled by decor… No apologies needed which was how I ended exploitation

My children have no idea they are living through a golden age of comedy

Losing what you never had is only possible when you look for it exactly where it never was

I won’t rest ‘til O– prah puts me on the cover of her magazine

Instead of a Che Guevara t-shirt I have a Carol Burnett henley

You can neither know nor control t… But you can follow it And as you follow the truth You will come to know How to control yourself

We’re not in control so we try to take control which leaves us feeling out of con… But it’s because anything can happ… that we can do anything

Life’s greatest mystery is how other people could possibly have as little interest in my Spotify playlists

With the same hubris That got us into this mess In the first place We like nothing more than to decla… Global warming is man-made

Because I never learned anything… I learned the hard way that it’s the only way to learn anything at all

I can forgive myself anything exce… All of my contingency planning Was contingent upon Sending a contingent of negotiator…