The difference between a black hole and a rabbit hole is that light can’t escape a black… but light can’t get in a rabbit ho…

We had a perfect plan for putting the genie back in the bottle but to get the genie out we had shattered the bottle

The fog of war is not knowing what’s coming next The fog of peace is thinking you know

Whereas Stanford decided to make its mascot a tree my wife is a decision tree and I am her mascot even though I couldn’t get into S…

It’s easier for capitalism to end than to imagine the end of capital…

I’ve reached the age where getting ready for bed is like preparing for a spacewalk

It’s not that we are past The point of no return But that we the people Have invested our life savings In scorn for our neighbor

In the past they randomly distributed blanks amongst the firing squad so that you’d never know if you were really executing enemy…

I try to imagine what it was like for my wife when two lines meant positive and the closest I get is when

One problem with civilization is that the people drawn to power are precisely those who lack it

The question isn’t: Why is there something rather than nothing? It’s: Why does it mean something

If you cut off an arm you are left with a stump to which you affix a prosthetic If you cut off a face you are left with a mask

My matchmaker couldn’t find me any… but she suggested I go to the bing… and focus on the woman who played the most cards per game

Now that everything is at last Out in the open People shut their eyes Not to escape the truth But to hide from their own blindne…

I thought I could keep the family… until I realized I was the family… So, all the time I was afraid of… the family’s dirty laundry I was already wearing