We’d all been taught As the temps got hot That all was for naught And that was our lot So, we’d cashed out and bought
You know a hipster is aging gracef… When he comes to see that Objects in mirror Are closer than they appear
In becoming a celebrity a person meets the same kind of de… that a tree does in becoming a Christmas tree– embalmed in sugar
I believe because I doubt sounds absurd until you realize that if there’s no doubt about it you are not free to choose
Haunted by conflicted feelings in… my therapist and I finally traced… when I preferred Pepsi to Coke and McDonald’s to Burger King but B.K. served Pepsi
The wrong crowd used to let things get out of control Now the wrong crowd has the best
There was no end in sight but we put an end to that by losing our sight And all we could hear was the sound of violence
You will have noticed by now That the phrase Public humiliation Is redundant
My wife sleeps on her back while I sleep in the mis– take prone position
If a tree falls in the forest and your husband is there does it make a sound
In the digital age we let our fingers do the talking
When I die I’m go– ing to donate my body to pseudoscience
Because bodies make a fart joke of… etiquette used to dictate that whe… passed gas at, e.g., a dinner part… the polite thing to do was to pret… the fart never happened
Men are from Mars Women are from everywhere else
We thought it would last forever but in retrospect we were having a high time at low tide when the clam digging was easy and the eating was good
