The mean streets of easy street Lack any meaning– To get there, try going crazy But everybody knows You’d be crazy to try
Believing that one can use social media for good is like thinking one can live in the Matrix without fueling the Machines
Carry a pen, should you need to write “Note to self: Congratulations!”
We subtract to find the difference But at bottom There is no difference Leaving it up to us To make a difference
A rising tide lifts all boats But a rising sea floods all moats
Thinking of happiness as the meaning of life is like thinking of sugar as the meaning of food
I put out a comedy album Side A was called Wins Side B was called Losses Only one side was funny
There are two types of men: Those who lie to deceive and those who by lying tell you what they really believe There is one type of woman:
My handwriting analyst said my electronic signature indicates a Type A personality and that’s all she sees anymore I said
When I listen to the blues I can’t stop thinking of advice I’d give
You’ll know you’re but a prop In someone else’s mise en scene When, after the photo op And the choir’s said amen You’re left to close up shop
Unlike the Americans and the Engl… who are divided by a common langua… the Americans and the Parisians are divided by a common symptom: disappointment
We got the five day work week because that’s how long it takes a python to digest it’s meal
Mother Goose was always considere… a good enough mother Until lately we realized her failure to smother It was unanimous
When we say something is infinite Say, the universe What we really mean Is that it is unfinished