It turns out they were right when they removed the self-destruc… explaining You won’t be needing this anymore now that you have autocorrect

Abiding means to wait expectantly, defiantly, or submiss… and I typically manage all three in the grocery store checkout line even in the express lane

I want to believe in God I believe in UFOs I don’t believe in recycling I don’t want to believe in what th…

Even when I’ve had sweet dreams Sleeping leaves a bad taste in my… Because even good dreams are bad d… Since the worst thing you can do t… Is to fulfill his wishes

Life is either A whole lotta nothing Or a whole lotta love Nothing could be easier than love Then again

There Is Always Room For

First, we learn how to walk Then we learn how to walk away For many of us This takes the rest of our lives But if we never give up

I can’t guess your age but I can guess your age when you got that tattoo

I tried using my get out of jail free card but the CVV on the back was Roman Numerals for eleven

Where my father’s faith led him to wear a clerical collar I struggle with faith much as I do with ring around the…

An uninterrupted winning streak Can only be had through An unchanging mean streak

Do me a favor and riddle me this: Is he favored to win Because he’s our favorite Or is he our favorite Because he’s favored to win?

During the rodeo clown shortage nobody thought that the rodeo mime… but the mimes surprised everyone distracting the bulls by silently evoking the dignity

The biggest change Since I found God Is who I am Trying to impress Which is how you know

I wish I could be the Lone Ranger Instead like everyone else I’m the known stranger