Free will consists of recognizing the inevitable and choosing wisely

My self-care plan includes a cheat day when I get to go to church

Post-pandemic life is like being a… Who comes home only to find Her parents have replaced Her obviously dead goldfish With a new one

Physicists insist that time can flow both forward and backward So, I always insist on sitting in the backward facing seats of th… because I need to be able to see

No one seems to see (least of all me) that being all you can be isn’t about clutching superiority– it’s for abjuring mediocrity

I may look like a tall glass of water but be– ware, I’m half empty

It’s come to my attention that My attention span is limited By what I want to see And like most people these days I don’t know what I want

Hell isn’t other people– Hell is waiting in line behind other people

Yes follow the money but only because the money follows the pleasure

Our brains are just big enough to operate eight fingers and two thumbs An octopus is smart but if it also had

Just because they’re coming to get you doesn’t mean you’re not paranoid

God is the world’s only super-bower

We got the five day work week because that’s how long it takes a python to digest it’s meal

Because it’s so hellacious transmuting lead into gold the people pleaser finds it heavenly to degrade gold into lead