A person is like a cat who puts a bell around its own nec… but continues to hunt

Just when you think You’ve seen it all It all falls apart So, you put it back together again Thinking this time it’s forever

You can’t prove that God exists But even if you could People would just say Correlation does not imply causati…

Alas Nobody wakes up in the morning To kiss my ass Miraculously I don’t wake up in the morning

Aristocracy failed because it couldn’t keep some of the people happy all of the time Democracy is failing because

In the age of divorce It needs to be said: If you don’t want to end up divorc… Do not covet your neighbor’s ex-wi…

When you can work from anywhere anywhere will do

Your eyes are your tools For processing light But don’t trust the process– Trust the light

The fox is in both henhouses– Yours and your neighbor’s– Because the roosters standing guar… Have turned on one another Plucking each other’s eyes out

My first meeting with God was ver… I knocked on the door and said “Excuse me?” God didn’t look up from what He w… As He calmly and firmly explained

The arts say What can’t be said While agitprop tells us What can be said In a game of

A man without an enemy is like a vampire with a reflection

I fist met Cap’n Crunch back when he was 2nd Lieutenant C… He did this weird thing where he’d… in the powdered milk powder and sa… Stays crunchy even in milk!

She was so cool that even her periods were fashionably late

Life is a talent show where most everyone is doing bad versions of easy impressions