There are no atheists in foxholes; the world is a foxhole

I was a bullshit artist until I realized a career as a bullshit scientist paid better

Unlike the Americans and the Engl… who are divided by a common langua… the Americans and the Parisians are divided by a common symptom: disappointment

God said satis– faction guaranteed; religion is all the fine print

I always like to know where I stand and I always bring an umbrella that can double

I never knew who they thought I really was until I finally staked my claim

The world to come will be Exactly the same But for one startling difference: God’s love will never go unrequite…

You’ve met your femme fa– tale when you can’t stop wishful thinking about her

When your mind is transparent Your body becomes invisible Because once they’ve made certain You’re thinking all the right thou… They’ll never give you another tho…

How do I love me? Let me count t… I love me to the depths of my stom… and when in line in front of a lum… I’ll take the last fried rice in t… I love me to the level of Wall St…

We are hard wired for cooperation to better compete Marxism fails because it enacts a competition

As the world closed in the Pollyanna sought safety in numbers only to find herself taking a number

They used to pay us A penny for our thoughts But then they realized We would pay them To think for us

Less self-interest is in your best interest except on Pinterest

Cartoonists always draw the lightb… pointing up so that no one will think it’s a n…