If you’re going to take sick leave… take FMLA

Being human beings Pacifists are just as obsessed With wielding power As everybody else And just as pathological as those

God is the storm un– til He becomes your shelter from the storm. Amen

Now that I’m wearing a mask I find myself telling strangers everything

When Eddie Money said “I’ve got two tickets to paradise” he didn’t mention that the paradise sales team only sells tickets in pairs

It takes talent to write a hit pie… but anyone can write a puff piece that in thirty years will read as a hit piece

I thought I was too smart for my own good But happily, I’d overestimated my… and I was just smart enough to be vaporous

You may think that the unconscious Is there to protect you from seein… How the sausage is made Because if you knew You wouldn’t want to eat it

I can’t get no satisfaction except self-satisfaction and I pity the fool who would want that

I used to say Nothing to see here but now that I’ve embraced transparency there really is

If a tree falls in the forest and your husband is there does it make a sound

All men come with self-destruct bu… If he seems to be missing one, you’re the button

Those who can do talk shows Those who can’t teach others to show, don’t tell

Darth Vader. Only you could be so bored.

You can’t burn a bridge when they’ve already dismantled th… to keep you out but you can burn an eternal flame to mark the location