Instead of shooting bullets into t… to celebrate I raise my leaf blower towards the… On blue moons I do this from my jet ski

Caught between a rock and a hard p… we will sink or swim: Sink like a rock or swim in a hard place– the opposite of walking on water–

In becoming a celebrity a person meets the same kind of de… that a tree does in becoming a Christmas tree– embalmed in sugar

I always thought saying slide trombone was like saying pizza pie until I heard about the valve trombone

If I’ve learned one thing from Pa… it’s that until I believe in God I will be enslaved to others That would have been enough! But I also learned that

A man starts out lying for instant gratification Inevitably, this progresses to buy… his unending rationalizations

One would think the earth is flat “Unless” as the Coen brothers put it “round is funny”

G.K. Chesterton said “When men stop believing in God they don’t believe in nothing; they believe in anything” But after a while,

My wife sleeps on her back while I sleep in the mis– take prone position

A woman’s air of mystery is intended as the breath of life but received by men as a crime to be solved

No one loves a woman like her man and no one loves capitalism like its Marxists In each case

Like many people I have dreams in which I’m flying but in mine I’m always flying

There is only one product but infinite ways to package it

The left used to believe that the people have the power but once the Jewish people had the power to form the state of Israel

Notice how the giraffe evolved so that its neck is precisely long… to reach the water when it bends d…