I used to pretend that Kafka’s The Trial was my favorite book but these days I bring a courtroom stenographer with me
They let Potter get away with any… but somehow I get expelled for flo… that a wizard can’t have the same… even though zero (magic) is only half as large as double ze…
I was an idea man with one good idea and I have no idea why they stole my idea of a good t… when they could just have it
Hook-up apps have given intimacy all the allure of an oil change
If you give people enough space You’ll be amazed By their flexibility If you give people enough cyberspa… You’ll be aghast
In my third marriage I went all in on being present in the moment When she left she said that being with me
A man without an enemy is like a vampire with a reflection
Just when you think You’ve seen it all It all falls apart So, you put it back together again Thinking this time it’s forever
Two roads diverged the one to the left leading up the garden path the one to the right leading down the garden path
The free food programs during the pandemic were great So, to compensate people began to ration love
When a tone deaf authority insists you watch your tone it’s because they would never ask you to do something they aren’t already doing themselv…
I’ve wasted most of my life wondering Why do I believe in God? when I should have been asking Why does God believe in me?
Most lives are lived in service to one institution or another but only very recently has this begun to feel
Under new management, hell now consists of friendly fire
When the shit hits the fan at least I know I won’t be wearing flip-flops