I know I think, Therefore I am All knowing Unless

I thought I’d flown the co-op by living off the grid And yet I’m still a chicken only now I’m on the skids So I’ve up and joined a commune

Like many people I have dreams in which I’m flying but in mine I’m always flying

Civilization began When the sons killed the father And substituted the name-of-the-fa… Civilization is ending Now that we’ve killed off the name…

The new Speech Code prohibits use of the phrase “Speak for yourself” due to its aggressive tone and threatening connotations

When people ask me How are you doing? I tell them That’s above my pay grade

Putin lost his mind then he lost his war then he lost his job or Putin dropped the mask

When I was a kid we thought the end of the world was coming any minute via The Button Instead it came a little later

I spent most of my life naively believing that people mean what they say Then I came to understand that even when people don’t mean what t…

You can’t take both forks in the road but you can overpack

We went from wearing galoshes over… to wearing galoshes over our shoes… to wearing galoshes as shoes and now we wear galoshes over galo…

In this charming reboot of a classic kidlit gumshoe series our eponymous hero Wikipedia Brown solves thought crimes by

The hardest thing to face is that your dreams won’t come tru… unless your fears come true first

Life’s greatest mystery is how other people could possibly have as little interest in my Spotify playlists

I was one of the ones who craved religion without religion This, apparently was easy to arrange But now that I’m longing for