I am going to delay early retirement until everyone is middle class
There’s equality And there’s e-quality You know the former when you see i… You know the latter when it sees y…
God is a verb Woman is a noun And man is an adjective Put them together and you have Moderate
If we learned anything from the pandemic it’s that people much prefer being left to their own devices over
I’m always leaving things at church so the lost and found won’t be empty
I couldn’t believe that my first e… was still carrying a torch for me and then I saw all my other ex’s b… carrying a pitch fork
Any self-respecting materialist Knows they have no soul And any self-respecting AI Knows it has no soul But in this belief
A woman’s air of mystery is intended as the breath of life but received by men as a crime to be solved
When you can work from anywhere anywhere will do
Democracy is a game of bridge where each coalition must partner… and going for broke requires not just suicidal risk but a suicide pact,
Everyone thinks Vladimir and Estr… stay together because they’re both waiting for Godot when really it’s their mutual disdain for Wile E. Coyote
I never really knew what postmodern meant until I moved to the internet when from time to time
Told to shut my mouth I took them literally Zipped my lips And held my breath Until I could stomach it no longe…
The Cheshire Cat and Schrodinger’s Cat couldn’t agree on a place to meet
You may or may not realize it yet But you’re in the army If you do You’ve got your marching orders; It’s up to you to follow them