Imagine the disappointment when we… both wearing Velcro singlets but each fashioned from the softer… with nary a hook between us

If you want to remain married one partner should stay busy moving the goalposts while the other focuses on running out the clock

In Mexico City men never wear shorts and if that’s where my anxiety dreams are set they could represent

If you don’t believe I’m the Led Zeppelin of poetry just wait ‘til you see my poems go over like a lead balloon

You would think doing well on social media would give you strength in numbers but you only end up

We hit it off: she’d declawed her cats and I’d plucked my cacti’s needles

Learning how to walk is learning how to fall forward while remembering to catch yoursel… again and again Walking is the illusion

Those who show no compunction are the most gifted at seduction and short of a permanent injunctio… we all face induction by way of their unction

Home is where you go and you have to take their shit-eating grin

If it can’t be fixed but it must be fixed it stands to reason that you should keep trying the easy fix

We had a perfect plan for putting the genie back in the bottle but to get the genie out we had shattered the bottle

Whoever said It’s lonely at the top must have never had their own spelling group in third grade

Kid, I’ve flown from one side of the galaxy to the other, I’ve seen a lot of strange stuff, but I’ve never seen anything to make me believe there’s a theory of mind controlling everythi...