I had just started explaining smar… When the alien stopped me in mid-s… And explained smart phones to me Originally, in order to monitor an… They were just going to attach

The annoying thing about blenders Is how loud they are But then again My mouth functions as a blender And I’m a loudmouth

Upon dying peacefully in my sleep surrounded by family after a long, prosperous life the Grim Reaper looked at me and… I’m glad to see you’ve arrived saf…

Because I never learned anything… I learned the hard way that it’s the only way to learn anything at all

In the new cold war between the neoliberal west and the Chinese Communist Party the neoliberals are destined to wi… having already hacked the path of…

In my second marriage I went all in on being authentic When she left she said that being with me

Rock and roll will never die because OK Computer replaced the world with itself

Just because life is good doesn’t mean it isn’t also too much of a good thing

People will only tell the truth when they think they can get away with it For example, perjury laws only wor… by publicly threatening jail time

Mix-up can mean three things: - A state of confusion - Conflict, fight - Mixture If you said

Like Coke for Coca-Cola, Mr. Pibb is short for Mr. Pibb, ABD

A meaning than which nothing greater can be conceived must exist; it’s up to each of us to find it

It’s horrifying when two parties have a suicide pact but it’s exponentially worse that the far right and far left

In a twist in hell there are no consequences

In a failed democracy the one thing both sides can agree on is that the real traitors are the loyal opposition