I am going to delay early retirement until everyone is middle class

The moment I think It’s beneath me the solid ground collapses into a sinkhole where I remain

I may look like a tall glass of water but be– ware, I’m half empty

A man wants the mother of his children to be a chef in the kitchen “imaginative” in the bedroom a shrink in the living room

My dad was a very religious man He always told me You’ve made your bed now you’ve got to not eat in it

It’s the odd couple that isn’t always trying to even the score

Now that mindfulness is the official state religion the attention economy will be centrally planned

The world to come will be Exactly the same But for one startling difference: God’s love will never go unrequite…

Higher education purports to prepare you for life when really it exists to indebt you for life, expanding campus ideology

Of late, being good materialists we put space first calling this universe spacetime Yet, at the speed of light it’s not space collapsing

There was no end in sight but we put an end to that by losing our sight And all we could hear was the sound of violence

If you can catch someone lying to… you can figure out what they want… If you can catch yourself lying to… you can figure out your own desire The former can make you rich

I can forgive myself anything exce… All of my contingency planning Was contingent upon Sending a contingent of negotiator…

One woman’s sunk cost is another woman’s sunken treasure

In the past they randomly distributed blanks amongst the firing squad so that you’d never know if you were really executing enemy…