You’ll know whether you’re there to make things better or to make yourself feel better by how you react when you’re told you can do better

The difference between sports and real life is that if Love played basketball against Empire, Hate, Violence and Death and won

At the end of life you can either say I brought it or I bought it

Fox News said it was “Fair and B… which supposedly meant that it was… because it was balanced but really it meant that it was fa… because it wasn’t balanced–

The problem is we’re running out of time and the only solution is playing the long game

When people give you the silent treatment have them put it in writing

When you have to be rich just to be middle class what do you have to do to be rich? That’s what they call a good quest… And since you have no choice

Never trust anyone who doesn’t believe in hell They’re almost always the ones whose idea of heaven is usurping God

When I picked candy apples as my… (think spirit animals for foodies) I honestly had no idea I was naturally sweet but laid it on way too thick

Your ego never knows it’s there Until you greet it Which you do By addressing the other

Materialism is no way out of Cartesian dualism It just turns backwards– I am, therefore I think– in an infinite regress

Two roads diverged the one to the left leading up the garden path the one to the right leading down the garden path

The opposite of bad breath Isn’t good breath It’s fresh breath Because all breath is good So, you never have to hold your br…

1. Make so much money you could he… 2. Remind yourself that “there’s n… 3. Tell yourself you need to feed… 4. Eat like kings

The prevailing mood was that of a nuclear submarine having failed to deter Armageddon