When I filter my selfie it becomes a safie
When at last my colleagues convinced me to go out after work and I’d relaxed enough to drop my… everyone could finally see my helm…
Many people think of life as a gift but to me it’s more like
When you come in peace I fall to pieces And then collect myself For the gathering storm
I was happily feeding at the trough when I noticed it had been filled with finger food
People thought they could finally come and go as they pleased if they could just be rid of the g… only to find in their absence not just more and bigger gates
I have a different problem: there are no feelings to express my words
Do me a favor and riddle me this: Is he favored to win Because he’s our favorite Or is he our favorite Because he’s favored to win?
In the battle between good and evil good appears to be playing for a tie Evil,
The revolution will be permanent When nobody means what they say But everybody memes what they say
You’ll know you’re talking to God When He doesn’t talk back Yet you still have your answer
The sixth extinction was hardest of all on the balloon animal artists
Wittgenstein’s fly in the bottle consults the map for directions to find the map
You can’t take both forks in the road but you can overpack
I don’t care about birds but I thrill when the squirrels can’t get to the birdseed