The dad i never got to know.

You just sit there waiting for words to do the work,
 
You keep on playing like it’s a game when it hurts.
 
And don’t act like a hard man cause I’m stronger then you’ll ever be,
 
Don’t you act like my dad when you were so close when they beat me.
 
Step up mister I’m so bad ass!
 
Take some charge Ill challenge that,
 
Let your family try trick my sister in,
 
Let them talk and make me fill fitting in.
 
Its too late for sorry!
 
We’ve cried enough,
 
It’s too late for pride you’re just no good!
 
So daddy dear sit still and I’ll spit it,
 
I’m here so you better fucking listen.
 
Don’t try your games cause we won’t fallow,
 
Take out your crying!
 
We’ll see about this tomorrow,
 
Try drag us in, keep trying.
 
When it’s dead and done, will you stop lying?
 
Raise your fist?
 
Go on I fucking dare you!
 
Send a letter? Stamped and ready??
 
Ill fucking show you!
 
Threaten my mam, haha I’ll laugh you off.
 
You may walk the walk but I’ll talk the fucking talk.
 
The only thing I get from you is anger,
 
So sweet and bitter it’s just anger.
 
What you did won’t be undone,
 
So lie back lets have some little fun!
 
22years you never say one word.
 
Deny my father hell yeah I should!
 
I wish I could just forget...
 
I wish you’re alright but only so you regret!
 
And if you died tomorrow I’d be fine,
 
Let me tell you that no line.
 
I’ll be fine,
 
We don’t need you here.
 
Deny me I’m glad,
 
Cause old sad men like you don’t deserve to be called dad.

(2012)

I wrote this when i first found out my biological dad (who bet up my mum when she was pregnant with me) was trying to see my sister and not me.... i felt really horrible and like he didn't want me, which was hard as i was a loner growing up. My dad and i finally meet on his death bed a month and a half later and its one of the hardest moments of anyones life saying goodbye but its even worse when you just said hello. This poem is mean and horrible about him but i know he'd (hopefully) forgive me and understand where i was when i wrote it. R.i.p.

Dad, hate, fear, anger, rage, pain, emotion, truth, regret.

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