As teens entering into the realms of cool
I would be telling tales to suggest that I wasn’t
just another anxiety-plagued over-ambitious fool!
Then My ray of sunshine came into the algebra-I room.
As she resembled a force to be reckoned with,
a source of unstoppable drive and beyond any fantastical myth,
This peaceable and deliberate young lady,
I know now that she deserved a better groom~
than I could ever make of myself.

In ancient texts we find rumor of a great sort of peace.
Some may say that it passes all understanding.
Theresa showed me that year, the way she made love to her fleece,
the times she would erupt in class with her grand-standings
and bizzare vein of demandings!
Almost always at the least expected times,
she would riddle out a list of worthy grievances
which could range from morning snack provisions being meager, foul, and cheap; to our nations president’s speech quality growing steadily weaker! Or how her number twinney-three most ballinest genie should come back out from his retireins and give society back the M.J. games that made the N.B.A. worth watching anyway!
As she was seated right behind me, my character in that class was the poor verbally assaulted youth grasping at wind trying to devise of some ingenious thing to say that might grant relief and some assurance that she had been heard and that each issue would be addressed immediately~ _IF_NOT_SOONER_!
Occasionally, in the case that she had gone a good while without making known her fury and letting our class feel her wrath,
She might come into class uncharacteristically a few moments late.  Perhaps she’d let the watchful few of us see that mischeivious smile.
And in the case that she did happen to be late anytime at all,
you could be sure, her explanations were unclear and incoherent.  Why ever she was late, this time or that, her attempts to explain were always completely ill-spent.  It was about half way through our first semester when I caught on to her subliminal hint:  If she held a juniper as she came in late, it would be no less than three days until we would see and be privy to all her woes and most pressing topics worthy of our class being scolded severely!  For instance; That time when her landlord called the front-office demanding she leave school to pay her rent.  As soon as she got that much info out, she slammed her hands on her desk shouting “I don’t pay no rent up over here now!  I been ownin’ my house since I was potty-trainin’!  C’mon, now!  Lets learn some numbers and algebraic formulas now, I’m here now ain’t I?!?  Forget that lousy landlord anyhow!  He only wants the money for the strippers downtown!  on with the lesson!”  Then there was that time that the Jewish Rabbi came by the school with a line of deviant churrenz stretching out the door and down the street waiting to receive their blessed encouragement and word of wisdom directly from Cousin Theresa, The Lady of Our Timely Blitzkreigs.  The whole school had seen and known when it happened and as she was a mere few moments late to class, she explained it  as “Oh, heyo NO!  Just because my good cousin Ralphie and his good-good friends got caught sneakin’ some eggs, a coupla chickins and maybe a rooster outta Farmer Dale’s coop, and so they was needin’ some strategerie as to how they might could get away with it next time, you all;  Ya’ll gonna try and shift the blame over and onto me based on timing and bells and class startin’ a tad bit early today?!?!  oh Naw-to the NAW!  I kin go right now and get a signed letter from farmer Dale, Zell Miller, and even Jimmy Carter that shows how I was needed for because of missing eggs, missing chickens and a rooster that runnofft.  Besides all that, I didn’t have my lunch money today and so Ralphie pulled some quick moves so I might get my little feast come launch break.  Anywho, where were we left off at, A-squared minus B-squared equals C-squared and Pythagorus theoretically was lost in the Bermuda Vortex?!?
C’mon now ya’ll, Mind ya’ll own Bidness!”

Since I was seated directly in front of her, those times when she did give us a show, it was as if I had the best seating in the house!  She even made it a strange habit to direct her grievances and expressions of fury in my immediate and unmistakable direction.  Many times I would find myself conflicted over how I might be able to alter the official draft pick so that the player she had wanted to go to Miami, yet didn’t, would arrive there soon somehow, or I might find myself worrying about the vice-president’s permanent grimace and why it is that his facial posture is my cross to bear.
All the rest of the times when she was merely aggresively taking notes in the algebraic fashion with a speed that would put Evil K’Neivel to shame, I would receive a variety of body contact niceties.  From behind me and with an eerie type of timing and effective nature, I would feel these fabulous massage quality impulses all around my head and then those hands would grasp my skull and put my mind through such a blissfull hell that my silence was my only torment!  Other times she’d just slap me over the head a few times just sorta letting me know that she was still back there.  Occasionally, she’d swing that huge algebra text-book far and wide and land it hard on the side of my face.  All these types of advances were enthusiastically welcome and treasured.  Somehow I knew that she was teaching me something.  It usually felt quite close to torture at the time, yes, but I know now without any hint of doubt that she was teaching me that year and that she was the best lady to fill the role.
She taught some crazy-crazy love that year.

I know she still lives in the state that I live in.
I know she remembers those days in Mr. Jenkins’ class just as well as I,
if not much better than I do.
So, sure, I know that she is somewhat near.  It ain’t good enough.
I wish I was where she is.  Or if not that, I’m wishin’ she was here!
With.
Me.